Nick has been too busy to write his official Anvil on Failing bio until now. You see, for the last couple years, he has been pulling triple duty as:
- Search marketer extraordinaire here at Anvil Media
- A full-time business graduate student at Willamette University
- The world’s foremost semi-professional Xbox 360 Kinect player.
However, as of May 2011, we are thrilled to report that Nick has graduated (yeah! hoorah! woohoo!) and, while he now gets to add “MBA” to his resume, he is now only a search marketer extraordinaire and the world’s foremost semi-professional Xbox 360 Kinect player.
Which means that you, lucky soul, have a brief window in which to hire Nick to optimize your AdWords campaigns (his self-described specialty being “porn keywords for non-porny companies”), your social media campaigns (you do want your Facebook page to be filled with videos of him and his roommates playing Kinect, right?), or any other Web marketing needs you may have. However, we strongly encourage you to hurry because we expect one of three things to happen in the near future:
- He will get nailed by the Feds for his heavy usage of Kinect-performance-enhancing drugs (mostly caffeine & sugar), which he has been stealthily sneaking into his otherwise clean-as-a-whistle blood chemistry via a constant stream of junk food.
- His long stream of love letters to Tom Brady, David Ortiz and Larry Bird (hey, the smart MBA hedges his bets) will finally be answered by one of the three and Nick will quit Anvil, leave his heartbroken but ultimately understanding fiancée, and spend the rest of his days blissed out as househusband to a Boston sports legend.
- He will use his newfound MBA superpowers to buy your puny, little company out from under you and turn it into the next Facebook while you spend the rest of your days cursing his name for treating you like Zuckerberg treated the Winklevoss twins.
Anvil: On Failing 