Jason J Kane

Fact: Jason J Kane was born with a beard.

Fact: Jason J Kane only writes in the 3^rd person. Welcome to the unofficial autobiography of Jason J Kane, ghostwritten by Jason J Kane for Jason J Kane.

A rising star from New Jersey, Jason always felt a strong connection to the New York pop scene and had dreamed for years of entering the limelight. Jason’s big break came in 2008, when Beyoncé released “Single Ladies.” Jason knew what he had to do. After darting around New York for several days trying to find his long-time idol, Jason ran into Beyoncé and Jay-Z outside a Starbucks. Music spontaneously began playing, and Jason busted several never-before-seen moves which impressed Beyoncé and Jay-Z so much they invited him to join their multi-country tour. Below is the only remaining evidence of Jason J Kane’s time on the tour:

After several months of touring with Beyoncé, the fame caught up to Jason. With a tear in his eye, he left the tour and moved to Portland, Oregon to find himself again. Today, Jason J Kane works for Anvil Media Inc, handling complex accounts like a champ. Does he miss the fame and fortune of his glory days? Sure. But Jason has learned that there’s a price to fame. To quote a phrase that Jason J Kane coined: “Mo money, mo problems.”